Kissing the Blarney Stone

It's actually quite terrifying. Climbing Blarney Castle is a feat in and of itself. The stairwell is winding and narrow, the steps are shallow and slippery, and the surfaces are uneven. I was worried about breaking bones . . . the seventy-somethings in line ahead of us seemed less concerned.

The castle is a marvel. With floors and stairwells still intact, you're able to visit the dungeon, bedrooms, living rooms, the kitchen, etc. Most of the castle is damp and it takes real imagination to picture the tile floors, tapestries, and painted walls that were once there.

The Blarney Stone being at the top of the building, you get a breathtaking view once you're up there. There was cattle feeding nearby
and it was a dreary, rainy day; I assumed it was probably a pretty accurate portrait of what living a castle once was like. Climbing to the top of the castle just for this view was quite worth it, whether you decide to kiss the stone or not. But after making it through the staircase and reading all the lore of the Blarney Stone, I decided I had to kiss the stone, gross urban legends concerning the state of the stone be damned.

Once you make the decision to kiss the stone, you then have to come to grips with what kissing it entails! The process is something like this:

1. You sit down on a mat with your back to the stone;
   
2. An old Irishman takes you by your waist and tells you to scoot back;
   
3. You mutter, "Oh God . . ."
4. You lie down on the floor;
   
5. You grab two iron bars with your hands above your head;
   
6. You laugh nervously and say, "Oh my God . . . "
7. The old Irishman shoves you over the edge of the castle by your waist;
   
8. You stretch and kiss what you can only assume is the Blarney Stone;
9. The old Irishman laughs heartily and pulls you up.
   

This was the exact process followed by myself, my mother, and everyone else in line that we watched, complete with the "Oh God" and Irishman laugh. I don't think there's any other way to do it.